True Blood Season 3: The Definition of Insanity....

... is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

I first read about True Blood and the Sookie Stackhouse books in an article in Newsweek when the first season was about to air on HBO two years ago. Another vampire series set in Louisiana. Great and how original. *eye roll* I thought about the horrible stereotypes of my home state I'd seen portrayed over the years: ignorant, backwoods, corrupt, New Orleanians with Southern accents... *shudder*

I avoided watching True Blood for all those reasons and more. But then, something happened: a couple of months later, a friend and I decided to flip channels and we happened upon Sookie being attacked by Bill in the graveyard. My friend was like, "Ah, what's going on?" and I responded, "I think he's her boyfriend and she likes it." Hehe. It was campy and seemed smarter than I'd originally surmised. I caught up on all the episodes, Season 1 ended, so I grabbed and devoured all the books. It was Christmas, I was bored, I wanted more, I found the TB wiki, fanfiction, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Imagine my horror now, three seasons later, when I realized my instincts were right all along: True Blood really is all those horrible Southern stereotypes and worse! It's dumbed-down crack for the masses; much of it pointless plots and one-dimensional characters, with a protein shake thrown in occasionally to keep the few skeptical, health-conscious folks hooked.

My trust in Alan Ball began slipping during Season 2 and the Maryann crap, but then Godric pulled me back in. Season 3 was cringe-worthy for different reasons and now that the finale has aired, I'm still a bit dumbstruck. So many meaningless storylines and characters ... So many WTF moments. Why, AB, why?

The Bad:

1. Sam. Ugh. Although boring, a steadfast and good guy is now a cold-blooded killer. But what does it matter because as Television Without Pity (TWoP) has pointed out, True Blood: The Best & Worst of Season 3, this season with his white trash family/Sawyer-from-Lost background illustrates the same result from last season: Sam overcame things to be the person he is today. Except now that he has allegedly shot his brother in the back, he's a monster again. And, as much as I like Sam Trammell the actor, I no longer care about Sam, the TB clusterfuckup.

2. Tara. The writing for her is terrible. For three seasons now she's been the victim, always blaming everyone else, crying and yelling in every scene. She seemed to be coming to terms with her abduction and rape at the hands of Franklin Mott and possibly growing as a character when she went to Holly's rape survivors' meeting, but then she was back to the same behavior, so what was the point? Episodes are written and directed by different people, so I have to think the actress is overacting too, badly. Does she really need to quiver her lip and pop her eyes in every scene? She was Juilliard trained with Nelsan Ellis for god's sake! Tara's also a terrible friend. She helped Sookie escaped Russell's mansion, but that doesn't make up for Tara letting Maryann trash Sookie's house last season. It's still a horrible, disgusting mess! This season ended with Tara cutting her hair and driving off, like she was going to find herself. But I could care less where she's going and hope she never comes back. I'm so over Tara it's not even... yeah... I'm done.

3. Jason. As TWoP has pointed out in its fabulous recap of TB, "don't tell us Jason taking over the needs of a meth trailer park is a step up for next season -- it is not." Touche, TWoP, touche

4. Calvin Norris. A good man in the books is made into a disgusting drug dealer, committing rape and incest. Then he's shot dead by his own son, making his character pointless.

5. Taking book scenes and giving them to other characters. Bill staking Longshadow in S1 was what led to the creation of Jessica, so I won't complain about that. But TB gave the Shower Scene to Bill/Sookie and made it Psycho-esque, so I don't expect to see Eric/Sookie in a shower anytime soon. Because it's also something bookies have been asking for since Day 1, AB will make sure we don't get it. Add to that list, Amnesiac Eric. I'm highly dubious that will take place. I've been joking that Sookie will come back from the Fairy Spaceship with no memory after she's been anally probed, but seriously, how will she come back from Fairyland? As old Sookie? I don't think so.

6. The Fae. A supernatural race that is fascinating in CH's books has been turned into Tinkerbell Aliens on TB. Maybe they will be more interesting in Season 4, but the soft-focus dancing around a pond does not lend itself to much depth.

7. Yvetta. Before this season began when the role was first cast, people were speculating that she was a mole/spy. Maybe a Were-something or a witch, connected to Hallow or Holly, someone who would segue to the "season of the witch." Well, guess what? She really was just a trashy, money-grubbing stripper (cardiologist in Estonia or not); she was simply there to have someone for Eric to f*ck. Even if Yvetta comes back next season and it turns out there is a connection to the witches or Weres, because there were no hints to make it intriguing, it will be too little too late.

8. Nazi Werewolf Storyline. Errghhh. When writers run out of ideas, they bring out evil Nazis. Add a crazy 3,000 year old vampire and Weres strung out on his blood and you've got... absolute crap. And poor Alexander Skarsgard, who got rid of his Swedish accent so he wouldn't be stuck playing Nazis, got stuck playing a vampire playing a Nazi.

9. So many inconsistencies. Eric's hair doesn't grow back (and actually gets shorter and darker), but poor Jessica's hymen does; no lights in the Bon Temps cemetery when Sookie walked through there in Season 1 and had graveyard sex with Bill, but it was lit up like a ballpark in the the Season 3 finale. After he's been tortured and drained, Bill can rise from silver chains and hold his maker, Lorena, so Sookie can stake her, but Eric who's more than 5 times older than Bill, is incapacitated by one silver handcuff. I could go on, but I'll spare you.

10. Godric. As much as I love Godric, it seems like AB brought him back only to pander to fans, and because the episodes in Season 2 that highlighted Godric, were the ones nominated for an Emmy. So, it felt forced to see him in S3 in flashbacks and as a ghost/vision. He hunted Russell and Nazi werewolves in WW2 with Eric so Eric could have vengeance for the killing of his family, but then Godric appears in the finale, telling Eric to let Russell have peace. When Eric doesn’t kill Russell in Fangtasia's parking lot because of Godric, but buries him instead in concrete, Godric appears again to tell Eric he's unhappy because Eric is full of hate. Okay, so what is Eric supposed to do exactly, Godric? You seem to not want Eric to kill Russell, and when he doesn’t, you are still upset. Was Eric supposed to let Russell go free so he could continue slaughtering others, including Eric? Godric's appearances in the finale seem unnecessary.

11. Women are helpless. Sookie couldn’t stake Lorena herself, she needed Bill’s help; Tara couldn’t kill Franklin when he came back to menace her, she needed Jason. I'm over the weak, whiny women in TB!

The Good:

1. Russell/Denis O'Hare. I won't get into how ridiculous it is that a 3,000 year-old vampire is a white man (seriously, writers? Not Egyptian or Asian or African?), because Russell, as played by the incredible O'Hare, chews up every scene he's in. This is what a villain should look like, full of awesomeness! He takes "vamp camp" to a whole new level. I want to just sit and watch him spew his lines, even when he's crispy; O'Hare did such incredible acting with just his eyes, under all that makeup. So I'm all for keeping Russell around.

2. Franklin Mott/James Frain. This character would have just been sad, pathetic, and scary, but Frain elevated Franklin's scenes to a whole other level. The speed texting was hysterical and cute. And when he said to Tara, "You never mourned me" drawing out the "mourned," OMG! Bizarre, yet moving, and entertaining-as-hell.

3. Alcide/Joe Manganiello. He's a good guy with sparkling brown eyes and a gorgeous ass, and he actually has chemistry with Sookie.

4. Bill. He's even more evil than Book Bill. Wow. Kudos to TB for going there. But that doesn't mean he won't win Sookie's heart again in Season 4. *gags* And if they have to show a scene THREE FREAKIN' YEARS LATER to tie into the present (*cough* Rattrays *cough*), it's been too long coming. Just saying.

5. Lorena, finally dead. But I will continue to mourn her fabulous wardrobe.

So, my original fears that True Blood would use cheap Southern stereotyping was correct. It's a mystery why a show that has inspired moments, would do that. If TB stuck to the books more (with the wonderful additions of Lafayette, Jessica, and Godric), this show would be good, maybe even great. However, I no longer have faith in AB, so I'm not expecting TB to improve much. I watch it now for the train wreck that it often is, and because I can gripe about it with my TB friends. I've also been curious about what makes a show excellent (ah, hello there, Mad Men), and what makes it not, and it always start with the writing.

So, I've watched this season of True Blood for a number of reasons, but not because I think it's going to get better. Does that make me any less insane?



P.S. I want to give a shout out to nycsnowbird and her awesome reviews on The Sookieverse for TB Season 3. The finale review is here.